Struggling to break old habits? This is why
Change Feels Hard Because Your Brain Likes Routine (Even Unhelpful Ones)
Do you ever feel like you know what you “should” be doing, but you just can’t make it stick?
Whether it’s swapping late-night snacks for sleep, moving your body more, or planning better meals, usually, knowing isn’t the problem. It’s your brain.
Your Brain Loves What Feels Familiar
Even if your current habits aren’t serving you, your brain sees them as safe. Why? Because they’re part of your routine. They don’t require extra thinking or effort. They’re the neurological path of least resistance.
So when you try to do something new, no matter how good it is for you, it feels uncomfortable, uncertain, and hard.
This isn’t failure. It’s biology.
What You Repeat, You Reinforce
Here’s what happens in your brain:
Every time you repeat a behaviour (like reaching for chocolate at 8pm), it creates a stronger neural connection
The more you do it, the more automatic it becomes
When you try to change it, your brain resists, not because the new habit is bad, but because it’s unfamiliar
And that’s why you end up back in the same cycle, even when determined to make a change.
Real-Life Example:
A client of mine used to pour a glass of wine every evening while cooking dinner. It was part of her wind-down routine.
When she tried to stop, she felt deprived and irritable. But once we replaced that habit with something else that she genuinely enjoyed, a sparkling elderflower in a fancy glass, a playlist that lifted her mood, and a quick 5-minute stretch while things were in the oven, she didn’t feel like she was “missing out” anymore.
It was important that she didn’t just cut something out but made a swap and created a new routine.
Why Not Try This:
If you’re struggling to change a habit, ask yourself:
What is the habit I would like to change, and when in the day does it occur?
What could I replace that habit with? Ideally, something comforting but aligned with how I want to feel.
How can I make that new habit easier or more enjoyable?
It’s not about willpower. It’s about rewiring your routine.
And remember: the discomfort of change is temporary. But the benefits?
They last.